I see the sun rise above the morning silence thru the train window and I'm trying to understand the last weeks rollercoster of feelings. The none-sleeping part, the how I met you-thing, Stockholm Pride-orgie of people and stuff to do.The beauty in your eyes and the way I feel when you smile. My mental breakdown and how you realize that your roomies means more to you than you knew. Recent made friends that understand you deep down and those that doesn't deserve your attention, at all.
Recent discoveries of your own. Thing's I didn't knew about myself. Thing's I thought I was done with. Thing's I thought never change.Thing's that seven years ago was not thinkable. Thing's that confuse me like, thing's that make' s me feel like I don't know who I am and still, I'm very sure of who I am. The new found confident but still feeling shy.. The success and the failure of stand up. Anxiety whether coming out or not. And the anxiety when I do.
The love I feel for the small things in life. The blue sky above, the sunlight on my skin, the Pride Parade that gives hope for a better future, the purr from my cat when he is all cuddling up beside me.The fact that I have friends. Getting a random hug from someone I know. Love that I can have pink nails even if Pride is over and that I can be who I am because all of you that didn't settle for anything. And that I can have a mental breakdown and no one thinks I'm weak. (I just have to understand that myself)
The music in my ears are telling me that the show must go on. And that is how life goes on. Never ending story. Some days I even feel good about my self, without someone telling me. You say I am, I say progress. It took me 32 years to get where I am at the moment.
The sun is till rising and makes the Swedish countryside look even more beautiful, and I can do nothing than feeling lucky and smile. I'm amazed to experience a life with such amazing friends.
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