By the water

The sun was setting down on the other side of the water. The sky went from blue to orange . I saw when it happen. The wind gently touched my sun warm skin. I gazed over the water and all my pain was suddenly gone. In some way I always have felt a connection with oceans and lakes. It always makes me feel like there is nothing that can go wrong. In some way I am just like the water, the water that flows just in front of me. It looks warm, soft and at ease. Under the surface it's colder, movement's you don't see coming and the only light you'll find is the few shine's from the sun that really doesn't reach down to you.

In general people really like you for what you are. They always notice your warm soft and gentle touch. That you keep them alive and floating, and you make them feel awesome when they are feeling blue. At the same time you scare them, they don't know what to expect, don't know what's under the surface. Just because you don't let them. Sometimes you are too much to handle for just one person and also the opposite, you are too small to deal with everything.

But really, I do miss the ocean and I think I really need some time by the water. All by myself.. I need to do something for myself. I need a boat, or just walk by the shore, barefoot. Feel the water wash my sins away. No, I really don't have any sins to wash away. I'm a nice guy.. or not.

No. Time to right something funny.

Yes, I'm bitter because you don't notice me

So I'm guessing that I'm in love.  And that freaks me out. I don't fall in love. Especially not in people I haven't know for more than a couple of weeks.. Maybe I'm not in love..

..but this person makes my heart skip a beat when they smile... The glitter in their eyes makes my world spin a little faster.. The sound of the joyful laughter is more beautiful than any song I've ever heard. When our eyes meet its like no one else exist..

Dream or not to dream....

So, it's just a couple of days until this: Wotever Stockholm: Twist and Swirl!
and I'm probably not as prepared as I should be, but then, I'm not as nervous as I should be either. I do know most of the script by heart, but it's a good thing to know it a little bit better. I have written it as it's supposed to be said. I'm no good when it comes to improvising..

So, what I really wanted to tell you about is, that I've been having this really weird dreams.. Usually I don't dream about sex. I dream about romantic stuff. Like I want to give to the moon, you are everything I ever wanted and prince charming of course.. But the last few times it has been, well the normal romantic dreams but you add like tons of sex. Perfect breath taking sex. Everything I ever wanted, and more. And I have to meet the guy, I've been dreaming about, later this week. And I don't know how to handle it. He is cute, good looking, sexy, interesting, smart and fabulous... But I don't know how I will react when I see him IRL after these dreams.. All I want to do, well, all I want him to do is push me up against the wall and bite me. But that would probably not be a good idea since we won't be the only one in that room.

I won't be able to pretend that I don't feel anything, my dreams have been way to realistic for that.
And to tell him is out of the question.. I am way to shy for that...

Well, maybe I'll tell you how it went.. or not,,,